Evolution of a story, plus bonus excerpt from my novel

So, as I mentioned in the previous entry, I, when in high school, wrote a script to do a movie based off myself, and my experiences with this one girl, which I screwed things up with (wasn’t the first time that happened, certainly won’t be the last), it was a pretty funny story, very heavily Kevin Smith influenced on the dialogue, pop culture references out the (Great) Gazoo, short too, like maybe 30 pages, but that’s all I did back then were shorts anyway. 

Anyways, that movie never got made, in high school after more life experiences and screw-ups, I got the notion to write that story again, but expanded, as my life had done at the time.  Again, the movie didn’t get made (too much party, not enough study…also not enough creation either)

So, a few more years go by, and I get the idea in my head to write the script again, this time centralizing the story around this girl I was friends with whom I was crushing on, she thought it was sweet and original, but then nothing ever came of that, the movie never happened either.  

A little bit down the road, after a breakup, me and my friend Mike Corrigan get the idea to turn our respective stories into a pretty decent length script called ‘Love is Genocide’, and the script was hilarious, but as with most our ideas, we get the idea but have no follow through with them.  So again, it went nowhere.  

So, cut to now, me with new writer’s ambition, and that story idea comes up again, so I decide to make that my first novel.  And it’s funny though, even as I’m thinking of the characters, and writing the first chapter, the story changes, it’s still in progress, and some of the key events do stay the same, but, for example, the character that’s long served as my ideal version of myself ‘Jack’, has evolved into Dex, who’s a slightly different character, an older brother popped out of the ether as well, filling in these gaps in my characters’ history.   It’s starting to take a life of it’s own, which is always the best thing that can happen to any creative person I think, when it comes to just getting it on paper, er…screen as it is these days.  

Well, anyways, what follows is an excerpt from the novel I’m working on currently, it’s set at about 2005-ish, mainly so I can include video stores as a viable setting, as well as some other dialogue which doesn’t work in the present day timeframe.  I digress though,I hope you all enjoy it. 



Chapter 1- Cosmic Castaway


At the start of the week, I’d really felt like I’d had my place in the world, I was one of the leading sales agents for Toys and Things.  Now, you’ve never heard of the company, but trust me you’ve seen their products everywhere.  You know those cheap knockoff lightsabers and assorted knick knacks you see at dollar stores everywhere, well, that’s where all that comes from.  Ok, it comes from Taiwan, but in between a little Asian sweatshop and your local dollar store is Toys and Things.  And in between there and the dollar store, was me. 

I’m normally more awkward then awesome, but here, in this place I was king.  After only a few months with the company I managed to rise from customer service drone # 245 to The Man, capital letters emphasized.  I get in this role of slightly sleazy, kind of trustworthy guy, and people buy from me.  If I could use this skill when talking to women I’d be like James Bond on crack, not that I needed that skill then, cause I’d had my girlfriend, Lisa, a pretty decent duplex and the coolest chihuahua ever, Raider.  I’ll get to him in a second, but Lisa was the light of my life, to use a cliche, but that’s how I felt. 

Now, I met her about a year prior, at this goth club I’d go to on thursday nights in Norfolk, now I know I mentioned before that I fucking hate clubs, but this isn’t necessarily true, I hate club music, most of it, and the goth club was so unlike anything I’d ever been to before, for starters the music was a nonstop blast of hard rock, industrial and alternative, stuff I can get down to on a regular basis. Not that I’d ever really considered myself a goth, but I did buy a pair of those big raver pants with the extra pockets, cause at the time it looked co..okay I thought it looked cool at the time, really I just looked like MC Hammer with extra storage space, or at least that’s what Lisa said when she first saw me.

I heard her obnoxiously cute voice say those words over Mindless Self Indulgence’s Faggot while I was sitting at the bar, and I turn my head, and the most adorably cute short little blonde girl in a Batman t shirt is in my direct line of vision, and I was done for from that moment. 

“The girl at Hot Topic said this was a good look for me.”


“She lied.” Lisa said, and did this cute half smile thing that further sealed my fate.

I just kind of stared and my mind went blank other than just how awesomely cute this girl was in front of me.

“So..are you going to buy me a drink or just stare at my tits all day?”

“Um, buy you a drink..wait what..I wasn’t staring at your um..”

Then for the first time in my life I heard the cutest laugh I’d ever heard up until that point.  It was like angels singing dipped in honey and rolled in nutella. 

“I’m fucking with you, though you can buy me a drink if you want, I would not complain, trust me.”   Again with the smile….dammit.

“Yeah, no problem at all, I’m Dexter, by the way.”

“Nice, you’ll have to show me your laboratory sometime.”

I laughed, in actuality I was a little tired of the laboratory jokes since that show came out, couldn’t there be a cooler character called Dexter out there in pop culture land?  But I digress, this girl was like I said, really cute, and flirting with me, with me!  This never happens to me, not ever.

“Oh, I’m Lisa by the way.”

A name, I had a name to go with this vision in front of me.  Yes, I’m fully aware I’m cheesier than a Velveeta and Kraft truck accident, this is me. 

So I bought her a drink, and we hung out at the Waffle House afterwards, got to talking about everything and nothing, and then a few weeks later I made her a mix cd, and it actually worked for once in my life.  And next thing I know, despite living at my parents house, I had this amazingly gorgeous girlfriend, and then we got the dog…and moved in together  And then they lived happily ever after….or so I thought.

“I just can’t do this anymore Dex.”

“Do what?”

“This, all of this.  I can’t do this anymore.”

“What…I thought you were happy?”

“Happy, Dex?  I’m practically turning into Suzy Housemaker here in the suburbs..this is not what I was meant for.”

“Meant for…I thought we were meant for each other, you’ve said that this whole year.”

“Us, maybe…but this suburban homemaker stuff….it’s so…conventional and boring…it’s not me, it never was.”

“Fine, then, I’ll quit my job, we’ll move out to New York…Chicago, Hollywood…wherever, it doesn’t matter where we go as long as I have you.”

“No, you can’t do that Dexter, I know you wouldn’t be happy, this is your dream right here in this life, this is what you’ve always wanted, it’s never been what I wanted, I just got so sucked into you somehow that it made me think that’s what I wanted, but it isn’t, it never will be…I’m like a bird Dex..”

“You’re seriously breaking up with me quoting Nelly Furtado lyrics?”

“I never said…yes, that’s what I’m doing.  I’m ending this now, before I hurt you.”

“But you’re hurting me now doing this, can’t you see that?!” Tears were starting to form in my eyes at this point.

“You’ve always loved me more than I’ve ever loved you.”

“That’s just how I am, I’m a hopeless romantic, and without you just hopeless. If you loved me as much as I loved you, we’d never get anything done but lay in bed all day.  We certainly wouldn’t have been able to afford this place on that.”

“I’m sorry Dexter, I’m so, so, sorry.  But I’m not happy in this life, I need to move on with my life, find new experiences, see the world.

“But you’re MY world..”

“I’m sorry Dex….I have to go now, we can still be friends, right?”

I didn’t respond back to her, not in words anyway, . 

My heart had been just ripped open, and she was Kano.  I was done for.  FATALITY.


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